When I Die...

I want to be deep-fried and have an open casket funeral.

Why don't I like spaghetti?

It's bland.

Notes to Myself

These are notes I have written / kept mentally logged in my head today.


1. Visit the Palace of Versailles when I take my dream trip to Europe.

...which will probably never happen. Also, count how many references to the sun I can find in the palace. For any of you that don't know, the Palace of Versailles was built by Louis XIV. He had an ego that makes Lindsay Lohan look like Mother Teresa. He called himself the Sun King (the link is a glorious painting of him as the sun in a ballet as a teenager), a reference to the idea that France should revolve around him. You know Divine Right? God chooses the king, king's the closest thing to God on earth, yadda yadda yadda? Yeah, that's your guy. You can imagine then, that a palace that guy built would be extravagant. You can also believe that the guy basically bankrupted the nation and taxed the peasants to an extreme.


2. Read a book on Peter the Great this summer.

The guy knew how to party. He basically trashed the houses of people he stayed with during his "Grand Embassy" tour, in which he went to Europe to observe the practices of Western culture. He was supposedly incognito, but he was 6'8" and had 250 servants and aides with him, which tends to be a little inconspicuous. He also had this thing called the "All-joking, all-drunken assembly", which was literally where he and a bunch of nobles got together and pretended to be Eastern Orthodox clergy, basically worshipping alcohol instead of God. However, Peter was also insanely cruel. He suspected his son of trying to overthrow him, an accusation that likely lacked legitimacy, having him tortured in prison until he died. Also, during the Grand Embassy, when he wanted to see how the English did executions, he encouraged them to use his own servants when they didn't have anyone on the chopping block that day.

Doesn't dude sound interesting?


3. Get Nutter Butters for the weekend.

I haven't had them in about 5 years. Plus, I gave up chocolate for Lent, so I haven't really had a cookie in about a month.


4. Never sit next to the fat kid again.

I don't mean to be mean. But first off, the guy didn't even give me a chance to get up before he climbed over me to get to his seat. Then, he totally took up about half of my space. Finally, he wheezed and made weird groans all period.


5. Twilight is the female's Star Wars.

By this I mean a couple things. First off, I have a feeling that 20 years from now women are going to remember where they were when they saw Twilight for the first time, and they're going to remember the exact number of times they saw it in theaters. Secondly, it's pretty dorky. Third, there's a ridiculous amount of Twilight memorabilia out there. I'm sure Twilight conventions are right around the corner. No surprise here either: There's a sequel in the works. So now we have the spots filled up for most demographics. Star Wars for men, Twilight for women, and Harry Potter for kids. We're just waiting on the senior citizen cult classic...


I can't believe I haven't made a song by these guys song of the day yet in the past, but yesterday a guitar solo by the Whigs turned my day around, so I kind of owe it to them. Here's the Whigs with "Like a Vibration"

Anyone Want to Go to Sweden with me in 2010?

Some people dream of playing Shea Stadium when they make it big. Some people want to play Carnegie Hall or Madison Square Garden. In England, people dream of playing Glastonbury or the giant Wembley Stadium. Me? I want to play a concert in this:



It opens in 2010. I expect to be there for the ribbon-cutting.

Crazy thought

I'm sure many of you are aware of the LHC (Large Hadron Collider), otherwise known as that thing that is colliding particles together at just a smidgen below the speed of light (it's currently broken down and will not be restarted until Spring, 2009). The reason you are all probably aware of this contraption is because of the thought that it could possibly create a black hole. Now, this possibility has been disregarded by many of the smartest minds in the world, but I had a thought today, or maybe more of a crazy daydream.

What if a bunch of George W. Bush-like aliens looked down on Earth and head about this LHC and saw it as a threat to their well-being as it could create a black hole that would annhialate their existance? Would they invade and destroy this thing, as Bush invaded Iraq to prevent their nuclear capabilities? What if there are aliens watching intently from billions of miles away watching closely to see what our next moves are? What if Earthlings are having an impact on beings that are not even in our solar system?

Would I put my money on it? No. First off, if aliens do exist, I doubt they have the power to watch a planet light years away in real time. I know people try to imagine aliens as having crazy powers, but I imagine them being not unlike us. To support life, planets would have to have makeups much like ours, and would thus create beings probably similar to us. But, if they were watching us, they'd probably be intellegent, so they wouldn't follow the Bush Doctrine. Furthermore, I don't think the LHC is really anything to worry about.

Anyway, I thought I'd throw an alien-themed song in here, so here's Subterranean Homesick Alien (live) by Radiohead

Poor commercial directors

The most unappreciated job in show business. Do they get a credit at the end of each commercial? I think not. Can you name a single commercial director? No. Who are the genius' behind the Berries 'n Cream Starburst commercial, or the Robert Goulet Emerald Nuts commercial? We may never know. Oh, the lack of fulfillment they must feel. In this coming election, I will pledge my support to whatever candidate takes up this issue and finally frees the commercial director from the chains of despair that they have endured for over 75 years (don't forget about radio commercials).

4/20 is on a Sunday this year...

... This really poses a conundrum for Christian pot-smokers. Do you observe the Sabbath or smoke your brains out?!?!?! Is Communion good munchies-food?

Will you?

It's easy to say you would if you could when you can't, but then when it turns out you can, will you say that you will and can, and will you?

The Jonas Brothers are Better Than the Beatles Ever Were.

And Avril Lavigne is probably the most influencial guitar player of all-time.

That's enough, Larry the Cable Guy

No, that's it. I'm just getting sick of him.

What ever happened to those "Jesus is my homeboy" shirts?

For real? Who would have thought they'd go out of style?

funny/not funny

big clothes on little people - funny
little clothes on big people - sometimes funny, sometimes disgusting
little clothes on good-looking girls...

My left shoe always comes untied, but not my right one.

What's up with that?