King James

I don't like the NBA. Of the four major sports, I think it's the biggest joke. College basketball's great, because everyone's got something to prove, but in the NBA it's all about flash and no defense.

I was watching Sportscenter today and saw Lebron James' tattoo of a crown, and remembered his nickname was "King James". I realized that it's a hilarious nickname, one that isn't exactly flattering. If people took the time to do research on the kings named James, they'd realize that they're not someone you'd want to be associated with.

The Stuarts may have been the worst kings in history, possibly with the exception of Charles II. James I (1603-25) popularized the theory of Divine Right, the thought that kings were chosen by God to rule and should basically have absolute power because of it. Thus, he found ways of taxing without using Parliament, who basically derives all its power through taxation. This led to countless disputes with Parliament, which resulted in James constantly dissolving of them once they tried to assert their rights. He personally racked up a large amount of debt because of his extravagence, attempting to resolve it by selling royal lands. He tried to match his son, Charles I, with a Spanish princess, which greatly steamed the nobles as Spain was one of their two rivals at the time. The failure of the match would lead to disastrous war waged by Charles I upon James' death, and the pompous precedents James passed down to Charles would lead the the English Civil War, where Charles was deposed and beheaded, and the country would be subject to eleven years of military rule by the insolent Oliver Cromwell from 1649 to 1660.

James II (1685-1688) was probably worse than James I, if not the worst king in English history. Charles II had done everything in his power to re-legitimize the throne. However, James II threw it all away, very much his father's son (Charles I). James was a devout Catholic, and tried to push the Anglican Church in a very Catholic direction when Anti-Popery was at its highest. He essentially replaced people in every major position of power with Catholics, suspending laws that limited Catholic rights. The man did not know how to be subtle, ordering Anglican priests to read his pro-Catholic acts in church. After he produced a legitimate male heir, the nobles and priests worried about a pro-Catholic dynasty and requested that William of Orange (who was married to James' daughter, Mary) come to England and overthrow James II. He arrived with 15,000 men, the largest invasion force to ever arrive in England. James did not have the manpower to compete with him, especially when a bunch of nobles and clergy pledged to fight on the side of William. James saw that his number was up, and he fled to France, but not before he made some stupid and cowardly decisions on his way out. He destroyed the writs for calling a new Parliament, ordered his supporting army to be disbanded without pay, and in the biggest act of disrespect towards England by a king ever, threw the seal of England into the ocean. He was captured before he ever made it to France by fishermen. Oh, and he was dressed like a woman. In just three years in office, he had managed to infuriate the country enough to dethrone him in the Glorious Revolution.

So go ahead Lebron, go by King James, but don't be surprised if you lose public support somewhere down the road.

Song of the day: The new song by Manchester Orchestra is genius. They are putting out their new album on April 21 entitled "Mean Everything to Nothing". For more information on M.O., see this post.

Epic rant!

Okay, that title hypes this post up to be really good, but it probably won't be because I don't swear and I don't think rants can truly be epic unless they have swearing. But it's a stressful time of year, and I think complaining to my computer will be therapeutic. So here it goes.

1. HISTORY TA's - This is not directed at one TA in particular, but more so the natural tendencies of history TA's that grade papers and exams. Someone that is a history TA is mostly a graduate student studying the area that the class falls under. So a History 115 TA, a broad Medieval Europe class, is probably studying something like the relationship between serf (although they wouldn't call it a serf for reasons I am to annoyed to explain) and landlord in Medieval England. Anyway, the point is, they are extremely knowledgable in their field. Thus, some TA's uphold an unfair standard when grading papers that anything they can think of that we have left out should have been included in the paper.

More than that, what bothers me is when a TA writes "Good" at the end of an essay, doesn't write that you've forgotten anything, that you've gotten a date wrong, that you've spelled something wrong, that you've used passive voice... hasn't made a single mark on the essay... and then somehow you get an 80%. To me, this is like a cashier handing you a cheeseburger that costs $3, you taking a bite, saying "This is good", then slapping down $2.40 and walking away.

I guess this is the burden of choosing such a subjective major. If I were in math, there one be one correct solution. I also have had some great TA's as well, so I can't complain too much. But this is an epic rant, so I'm ranting.

2. THE IRS - The IRS has added an unneeded stress to this holiday/exam season. So I send in my taxes by mail. Everything's been checked. Everything's right. Records are kept. One of my jobs is tax free (Fun fact, if you work a campus job and are a full-time student, you are exempt from taxes on that job). My summer job is not. I work full-time over the summer, so this actually adds up to quite a bit of money. Well, I end up getting a far larger refund than I should have. I look at my taxes, very confused, and it says I have made a mistake, my summer job IS exempt from taxes. I know this is wrong, but I think What am I supposed to do about this? They made the mistake. They can't fault me for this. So I let it go.

Well, last month, I get a statement saying that I claimed myself as exempt. No... no I didn't. You guys changed this. I call the IRS very fed up. I get connected to a lady that says she can change this without a problem... I'll have to pay the money back, but she can fix the fact that they entered the information wrong into the system. Fine, I can deal with this. I get put on hold. All of a sudden, the phone hangs up. I have to call back, sit through 30 minutes of Tchaikovsky, and get connected to another, much less helpful lady. She says that I have to refile my taxes. No! No I don't! I was just connected with a lady that said she'd fix it for me! She puts me on hold again. She says she'll send my case to Fresno, CA for review. Today, I got in the mail that I owe $250 with $6 interest, because they assume the money's been sitting in my savings account for six months. I'm glad this is over, but screw you for costing me money for your mistakes, IRS. I hope you don't come after me for writing about my discontent.


Anyway, I'd write a couple more, but I have to get back to writing a 9-page paper that will undoubtedly be thuroughly analyzed for things I missed. Guess I'll just have to take pleasure in people slipping and falling on the crazy ice rink known as "the streets and sidewalks of Wisconsin". Even funnier is the human response to the slip. I've narrowed it down to two circumstancial reactions. 1) If you save yourself, you do six or seven running steps like it was part of the plan, and 2) If you fall, you get up, and you just smile as if to say "If I act like I have a sense of humor about it, you'll all think that I'm not really embarrassed at all".


Song of the day, the hottest indie band out there: Lazytown featuring Lil Jon. Warning: Vulgar language.

See more of the internets best videos at CollegeHumors Web Celeb Hall of Fame.

I'm Gonna Be a History Geek for a Second

Anyone who took a high school history class knows the Soviet Union sustained the worst death toll in World War II (about 23 million total). But can you tell me who sustained the second most?
I bet more than half of the U.S. population didn't even know that China was an Ally. 20 million Chinese died in World War II. Why the heck don't we learn this stuff in high school? The bottom line is that, though we believe we are the land of the free, one of the most accepting and cultured countries in the world, our high school history cirriculums are western-focused. Where are the primary sources from Chinese civilians talking about the death all around them? It just confuses me. Is non-Western history not important? We trace Soviet progression into Communism but not Chinese. It just blows my mind.

Let's face it. White history is still the history of public schools. Sure, we throw in some black history. But so-called "Global Studies" are usually a look at Europe, or the events that effected the United States. We may talk about Japan, but only because they were a major player against us in World War II. We may talk about the Soviet Union, but that's only because they we our opponents in the Cold War. Our education system still looks at the world as it affects us. We disregard Africa because we look at it as a tribal continent that doesn't have a lot of interaction with the United States. We look at the east and see cultures that are far different than ours, and that alarms us. For these reasons, we choose not to explore and discuss them, and that's just sad. 20 million lives is an insane number, whether they are Europeans or not. The value of a life should not change based on the culture from which it came from.