College Comic Strips: An Opportunity for the Sucky to Be Published

Listen, I love the Daily Cardinal and the Badger Herald. I even love the comics as I read them everyday. But there's GOT to be some requirement for people to be allowed to make comic strips for these papers. Basically, I'm pretty sure they're so eager to fill a page that they don't care who draws for them.

My first grievance as against the comic strip "The Crackles". There is no originality to this strip. First of all, they are pacman-type characters (and believe me, he tries to milk the jokes out of the resemblance, as if it's coincidental) that just stand around and talk. Fine. Whatever. Kevin Smith makes his living by making movies where people just stand around and talk. It's just got to be funny. But the guy clearly can't draw. So you would think that he would make up for it by being funny. Well, I submit to you this comic. Haha, it's a hippo. Wait what's that, the hippo's hungry? Oh, I get it! Hungry, hungry hippos.

Let's just review. The usual requirements for comic strips: Good drawings, good story-lines, usually funny. Crackles? 0 for 3.

But the crappy comics aren't limited to the Daily Cardinal (see also "Square and Cone". I can't find a good link right now, but I'll find one.) With the Badger Herald, we have Milk. Here is an example. The thing I hate about comic strips is for some reason, about half of them like to talk about World of Warcraft, and other RPG's. This girl is clearly among that demographic. The thing is, most of her comic strips nobody gets unless they play them! There are a couple of other comic strips like this, but the one's like Yourmometer and C'est La Mort are occasionally funny and are not limited to that subject.

So many of you would say, get out there and do it yourself if you could do better. And to be honest, I've thought about it. But then I realized... I AM LAZY. It would be tons of fun, don't get me wrong. But to make them to my standards, it would take a lot of time. I would not be happy putting forth some of the stuff these people are doing.

But I do have to admit there are some very funny comics in the papers. Everyone loves and raves about White Bread and Toast, but I think it's on and off, and it mostly does the one frame with different dialogue thing. The one comic strip I could see getting national syndication is Green Planet. The drawer's talents are not limited at all, and the plot lines are hilarious. And although the subject matter of many comic strips, like Rehablilitating Mr. Wiggles, is funny because it is inappropriate and could never be put in a national paper, Green Planet's is for the most part just clean, witty humor.

So that's it. I was just taking a dump and reading the papers and I got frustrated with some of the comics, so I thought I'd rant. And my whole weekend was spent reading a book on the role honor played in the foundation of the U.S. and writing a 10-page paper on the subject, so I needed a stress reliever.

I thought I'd go with an animated music video for the song of the day. So here's my favorite song ever, Paranoid Android by Radiohead.

Paranoid Android at Youtube

Minus the Bear Concert an Intense Ride

Minus the Bear encountered a bunch of problems at their concert in Madison on Thursday. One band got pushed out of the lineup by the sponsors. Then, Portugal the Man, who actually drew a significant chunk of the crowd, had to pull out because their van broke down in Chicago. Thus, the people that traveled showed up for an 8:00 show that got pushed back to 9:30 due to unforeseen circumstances.

Club 770 is literally a cafeteria by day. It's placed in Union South and has a capacity of like 450. Well, I'm pretty sure they overflowed this place because there was absolutely no room, but due to our early arrival my friend Jenny and I were able to get front row. Worse than that, there were kids that were clearly on acid or something of that nature jumping around and into people, even before Minus the Bear was on and the Big Sleep had the stage. There was a drunk girl that I couldn't shake that kept playing drums on my back and trying to get me to dance crazily (Her name was Regina). Jenny found this hilarious, and due to my extremely muscular back I was able to tolerate it.

Once the Big Sleep was off, everyone tried to rush to the front. It was basically like trying playing Red Rover for an hour-and-a-half. I am a small guy of 5'6" but I was not letting anyone through. Jenny, on the other hand, got pushed out. She was gone before I knew it, something I felt terrible about. She ended up watching the show from the side. The reality was, I could not have gotten out if I tried, so we kept communications by text message. The entire concert was spent with the entire weight of the crowd pushing against the front row, causing them to be constantly bent over onto the stage that was only a foot-and-a-half off the ground. It was also really tiny and I'm amazed they got five members on it. It was like clowns in a clown car.

During the second song, probably over the previously mentioned pushing, a fight broke out about 5 feet to my right. Cory, the bassist, jumped out. He had clearly been uneasy about the pushing right off the bat. It's funny, because last year at the Lussier Teen Center, Cory had to keep kicking kids off that ran onto stage. Anyway, Cory jumped out, then Jake, the lead singer, also jumped out to stop it. There was no security, so I guess they felt it was their job, and I guess no one would have been able to see it from the back, so really they were the only authority figures to do it.

The rest of the concert was amazing. They played The Fix (link to the Youtube video of them playing it at the concert), which is my favorite song of theirs, and they played a bunch of songs off the new album. In fact... you can see the entire setlist because with two songs left I asked Cory for it after the concert. At first I didn't think he heard me, but right as the song was starting he bent over and handed it to me. Before the last song I showed him it in case he forgot what the last song was and he laughed. Encores were "Fulfill the Dream" and "Absinthe Party at the Honey Warehouse".

Overall it was an amazing concert. I hope they still come back considering the problems they've had their last two concerts out here. I wonder how they feel about playing small venues like this when they could easily fill larger ones.

I'll make the song of the day Knights, because it has a sweet music video and is the best song off of Minus the Bear's new album, Planet of Ice.


"Knights" by Minus the Bear at YouTube



Oh, and I made it in a couple of pictures. I can be seen in one on Mixtapes|Heartbreaks (although Cory's blocking out my face), and there's this one that the writer of that blog sent to me. Thanks Stacey!

Also, the top picture looks kind of cruddy because I didn't take any pictures with the flash on. I didn't want to blind them because I was literally that close.

4/20 is on a Sunday this year...

... This really poses a conundrum for Christian pot-smokers. Do you observe the Sabbath or smoke your brains out?!?!?! Is Communion good munchies-food?

Bjork - Grade A Pimp

Yeah, I said it. The lady has balls. Declare Independence is a fantastic song, and she's been using it for inspirational purposes. She used it in a couple concerts to praise Kosovo for their new Constitution in Tokyo, a move that kept her from being allowed to play her show in Serbia. But this one takes the cake. In China, during the song she clearly says "Tibet, Tibet" on three different occasions. Just awesome.

YouTube video of Bjork's "Tibet, Tibet" version of "Declare Independence" in China

About the Name Change

I'm distancing myself from the "straightedge" name. Let me tell you why. For a while I've heard of the militant movement with the straightedge label. Tonight I watched a documentary on National Geographic (narrated by Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth). Apparently this militant movement has grown over the years as a social-cleansing type movement. I'd known about it, but thought it was relatively uncommon. Turns out it's pretty much evolved into gangs all over the country. Basically, I only ever related to the straightedge ideals of abstaining from drugs and alcohol. I never listened to the "straightedge" music or even contacted another "straightedge". There is a sect of the movement called "posi's" (for positive livestyle) that do peacefully pursue a clean life. However, the posi's have been overtaken by the militant movement in the media. I am esentially a pacifist, so I would never condone any of this activity. Thus, I will no longer identify myself as a straightedge.

"Feeding Milk to Chickens" is something I came up with one day in class that has personal meaning to me, but I'll let you interpret however you'd like.

Here's a picture of a smashed guitar I found on my way to class today.

Off the Schneid

I went to the Brewers game yesterday. Be jealous. There is nothing like a baseball game. I said to Grant as we were walking up to the stadium, "I feel like I'm going to Six Flags." A baseball game IS the grown man's theme park. It has its distinct smell, distinct noises, distinct feeling.

I smelled somebody grilling about 3 weeks back in Madison and i had an urge to run the 70 miles to Milwaukee and pick up a Smoky Joe along the way. When we got into the place, though, we were disappointed to see that hot dogs had risen to $4.50. Insane. Right then, I said "We're coming to dollar hot dog day." Four hours later, we had ordered tickets to one of those games.

We ended up sitting at the end of one of three rows occupied by someone's 30th birthday group. Naturally, the friends of this guy were trashed. Well, one ended up sweating profusely. Not cuz he was fat. No, cuz he was plastered. The guy looked like death, and naturally, his friends found it funny. His girlfriend came down from the two rows above his and tried to help him out. Well, the dead guy suddenly came to life when he grabbed an empty large cup in two milliseconds flat and filled it about halfway with his own personal fluids. Naturally, rather than help him to the bathroom, his friends were merely blurs as they fled their seats for the aisles. They were more worried about their beer than their friend who quite possibly had alcohol poisoning. Basically, the rows around them cleared out too because they were disgusted by the amount of sweat and puke on the floor.

Me and Grant? Not disgusted at all. I labelled the man "Steve Barfman" This was a sign of the baseball season starting. It was highly amusing. This guy was apparently 32 years old and wasted at one o'clock in the afternoon. There's a college saying: "Enjoy it now, because after college it's called alcoholism."

At around the sixth or seventh, two guys jumped onto the field and ran from the third baseline towards the bullpen. I've never seen so many security guards on the field. They were chasing from behind, from the sides, from everywhere. But the ones that caught them came flying out of the bullpen. One guy got the classic spear from the guards, where it looked like Brian Urlacher taking out Mother Theresa. But the second guy didn't get caught from behind. No, he tried to break through a line of the guards that had come from the bullpen. Well, he tried doing this by bowling over one of the guards. This guy would have none of it, and he actually threw a haymaker at the guy before he had the chance. Yes, this guy got punched. Hard. And it was beautiful.

The baseball was beautiful, too. Ryan Braun's my favorite player (I used the second pick in my fantasy draft to get him even though he was ranked about 17 in the league). The guy finally got off the schneid on home runs. It wasn't a ball that barely cleared the fence like Kapler hit later in the day, it was a rocket. Parra had a no-hitter through five. We ended up winning 5-4. Gagne (pictured) was lights out in this save opportunity.

Last year, the Brewers were 8-1 with me in attendence. I was hoping the Crew would give me free tickets as a good luck charm, but this has not been the case. Nevertheless, I couldn't have asked for a better game to start out the season with.

Rather than have a song of the day today, I have to make an album of the day. I have been a fan of Colour Revolt for a couple years now. Up until April fools day, they only had an EP of 6 songs to listen to. Although this EP is one of my most prized posessions, I longed for more. Well, I got it last Monday at 12:01 am, as I downloaded their new CD "Plunder, Beg, and Curse" off of iTunes. In five days I've listened to this album 21 times. These guys are going to make a big name for themselves in the months to come. They are a mix of Modest Mouse, Brand New, Minus the Bear, and an old blues musician. Jesse Coppenbarger has one of the best voices in music. The guy is so young, but he's got such a booming voice for such a scrawny body. They have three guitarists, but as so many reviewers have written before, they are not obnoxious at all and are each necessary to make the music what it is. Check out their myspace and see for yourself.

Colour Revolt's Myspace

By the way, Geoff Jenkins looks weird in red, it's weird that our catcher can run faster than a snail, and it's great that the Cubs are 2-3.

Pictures of the Brewers game will be put up when I get back to Madison.

Actually, it is easy being green

I missed the chance to say "Happy Opening Day" to you all by 10 minutes. However, the last baseball game isn't finished, so I guess it kind of counts. I've waited for this day for what seems like forever, and it did not disappoint. However, Eric Gagne did.

Anyway, I've dropped by to write something I'm surprised I haven't written about yet. Most anybody that knows me knows that I am very vocal about global warming. Lately, I've been trying to reduce by carbon footprint, and I thought I'd share some ways you can help.

1. Turn off your computers while you're not using them. This is a huge problem with people our age. I admit, that up until a couple weeks ago, I didn't really think about it. It's much more convenient to leave on, but if you think about it, how many hours a day do you spend at a computer? Two? Three? Well, if you turned it off for the time you weren't using it, you'd cut down your computer's carbon emissions by 80-90 %! The away message is a catalyst to this problem. But I have two comments for that: 1) If you are not on at 1:30 at night or so, we will assume you are sleeping. You don't need to leave an away up telling us. 2) Do you really need the away message? Let's be honest, most of us use text messaging. And really, let's try picking up a phone and calling someone. Relationships have gotten so much less intimate because everyone uses a screen to relay their feelings rather than their mouths.

2. I've pounded this one into my friends' skulls. Use CFL bulbs rather than incandescent. CFL stands for carbon-fluorescent lamp. It's a fancy way of saying those spiral light bubs. A CFL bulb uses up to 75% less energy than old fashioned bulbs and can last for ten times as long. This also means saving on your energy bill, so it's as good for your wallet as it is for the environment. There are lots of reasons to not like George W. Bush, but in December 19, 2007 (a day that i celebrated, resulting in people thinking I was a geek) he actually did something right. Starting in 2012, incandescent light bulbs will start to be taken off the shelf. So basically, it makes sense for you to convert to CFL's right now! But here's the one thing about CFL's you must know. They contain mercury, so there are specific places that will dispose of them for you. DO NOT throw them away.

3. There are some very indirect ways you can help, but they have a great impact anyway. GoodSearch is a search engine powered by Yahoo that donates a penny to the organization of your choosing every time you use it. It's my home page, because it's such an easy way to help without really doing anything. Why use Google, who keeps all their profits when you could put the money towards a cause? Another way is to add the "Greenbook" application to Facebook. For every minute you spend on Facebook, CO2 offset is purchased to compensate for the amount of CO2 you've put into the atmosphere while you've been on the computer. Thus, I usually keep my Facebook up on my screen no matter what I'm doing on my computer.

There are so many other ways you can reduce your CO2 output, many of which are really obvious if we stop to think about them. I think you're smart enough to figure them out, so I'll spare you. I'll also spare you from a corny closing statement like "You can make a difference" or something of that nature. Instead, I'll leave you with a link to the new music video for "Better to Be" that Liam Finn released today. Enjoy.

"Better to Be" by Liam Finn at YouTube