Monday, February 11, 2008

My Everything Hurts


New Year's resolution accomplished. On New Year's Eve, as the ball was dropping, I said to myself "I'm going to exercise this year. I'm going to lift, and I'm going to run." Well, I've achieved those goals. Yes, for the first time this year, I lifted (for the first time in two years, actually) and I ran (I played basketball). Now I'm done.

I'm kidding, of course. But I'm sore as anything right now. I organized a basketball game between my old dorm floor of last year. Now, in nine months of last year's games, we didn't have a single injury. Tonight we had two. They were serious enough to get the entire front desk of the SHELL to come and make sure nobody passed out because of a concussion. More about that in a second. But let's talk about me.

Now, I hadn't played basketball since last year's adventures, and I wasn't even good then. I mean, over the year I progressed, but come on, I'm used to shooting at a four foot by six foot net, not a 3 inch wide circle. So, let's just say the first game was rough. I think I was 1-for-8 from the floor, which is still higher than Armon Gilliam's career average. This was with a 80-pound girl covering me. Hey, she's good. She was really speedy. That combined with my horrendous ball-handling skills was my downfall.

During the second game is where the fatalities occurred. We had one sprained ankle from my friend Aaron, who once when he was drunk poured my chocolate milk down his pants (just for reference). The other was none other than my assignment, little Ellen. She made the mistake of going for a rebound against my beast of a roommate, who never saw her coming. Needless to say, she hit her head so hard on the ground it wasn't funny. Even when I thought she was dead, she never stopped smiling, one of her more favorable traits. They're both fine from what I know, but you never know with concussions.

On a lighter note, I did a little better throughout the night. My assignment for much of the second game and all of the third game was Corey, who is my height, but a rock. He's immovable. Luckily, I had some mobility against him, so I'd say my shooting average was better.

After the games I was about to head home, but then I decided, hey, why not stay and lift with Stapes, my roommate. There weren't too many people around to point and laugh at me, as it was 10 pm, so I was like what the heck. Now, I am a small guy. 5'6". I also haven't lifted since the end of my hockey season senior year of high school. I was never an amazing lifter, but my summer job at the golf course often requires heavy-lifting, so I guess I developed some abilities, because I could bench as much as I could in high school. That's only 95 pounds, which I'm not proud of, but remember, I'm 5'6" and I've been out of it for two years. I also did three sets of 10 reps.

Right now, however, I can barely move my fingers to type this entry. This is the reason for my dramatic first paragraph. I'm sure I'll lift again to try to beat the century mark (that sounds pretty sad).

In the spirit of this post, I will make the song of the day a song called "Macho" by Tin Circus. Tin Circus is the band that Judah Nagler (The Velvet Teen) led and played bass for in high school. It is amazingly talented California Ska music. There is not a weak point in the band, and Judah is probably a better bass player than a guitar player (which makes it unsurprising that when Josh Staples left the band last year to focus the New Trust, Judah took over bass duties and they hired Polar Bears guitarist Matthew Izen to take his spot on guitar). This is probably the high point of the album, which early Incubus / Primus - like slap bass and psychedelic guitar parts with some brass thrown in for good measure. The whole album is available for free download at www.tincircus.com . If you don't want to download the whole thing, head over to myspace and give it a listen.

Tin Circus - "Macho" at Myspace.com

3 comments:

Ryan said...

Welcome to the blogosphere. I look forward to spending more time checking out your posts than on my homework. Thanks for the interesting and humorous distraction that is your blog.

Unknown said...

Just to be a jerk:

Armon (who later changed the spelling of his name to Armen for pronounciation purposes) Gilliam averaged a relatively high 48.9% career FG percentage. "The Hammer" also averaged 13.7 ppg for his career, his best season coming in 1995-96 during which he averaged 18.3 ppg and 9.1 rpg on the way to 40 double-doubles for the New Jersey Nets. The NBA journeyman played for Phoenix, Charlotte, Phoenix again, Philly, Charlotte again, Philly again!, then the Nets and Bucks before closing his career on the historically white and goofy (see: Jeff Hornacek, Matt Harpring, Greg Ostertag, etc.) Utah Jazz. Unfortunately, his solid career stats were blemished by the commercial he did for Milwaukee Law Firm Eisenberg, Weigel and Carlson ("Don't drop the ball make the call 414-342-1000", now under the firm name Weigel, Carlson, Blau & Clemens) which ran long after the 6'9" Bethel Park, PA native was a Milwaukee Buck. Gilliam now gets his hoops fix playing for the ABA's Pittsburgh Xplosion. Is "The Hammer" still effective? He was named the 2005-2006 ABA All-Star Game MVP. In his relatively new internet weblog, or blog if you will, T.J. "Pop Tart Time" Matzen recently attacked Gilliam's FG percentage after a particularly brutal 1-8 night guarded by Ellen "Yummy Chicken Teriyaki with Assorted Vegetable" Vanden Branden.

This response penned by Nick "Skim Milk" Miller, not currently enrolled in college.

TJ said...

would you have rather i said mateen cleaves?